I CALLED IT!!!!!

That's right ladies and gentlemen. The St. Louis Cardinals are the World Series champions. And I know what you're thinking. "How did Brian Doty successfully pick the Cards to win despite all supposed logic suggesting otherwise?". Well I was rooting for the Tigers, so I utilized a little something I like to call "The Doty Rule".

The Rule is as simple as this: if I pick, or am rooting for one team to win, at least 2/3 of the time, the opposition will win. This is without a doubt the work of a deity (in whatever form) attempting to shame and torture me. I am in no way suggesting that I am important enough for a deity to make the effort to shame me. All I am saying is that any deity would jump at the chance to humiliate someone so self-righteous, and yet, resigned to failure, as me. So yes, I am important enough.

Have you ever heard a player from the winning team say, "I want to thank (deity) for this victory" or "(Deity) was watching over me today"? They have absolute certainty that (deity) was so dedicated to their cause that he forced an opposing linebacker into the field goal uprights, rupturing his spleen and leaving his 4 children without a father. Hey, it worked for Sodom and Gomorrah.

All I am meaning to say is that I have the same mentality as these players. If (deity) is willing to determine the outcome of a water polo match for the players, then he/she is certainly willing to go out of his/her way to make sure I end up in last place for my fantasy football league. Curse you Ahman Green.

So remember, next time you want to bet on a sports outcome (even though betting online in the US is all but over), give me a call and see who I am rooting for. Extra certainty depends on how emphatic I am in my selections. And don't forget: I will always seek your pity.